Spiderhead

I am so conflicted. I love Dad Tony and Dad Bruce (btw Bruce being jealous was priceless). Lol that last bit Peter is so OP! Love it. This fic made me laugh and I loved it. Bookmarked and now going to look at your other stories.

Spiders-Man! Yay!

That last bit is wonderful! :D*Kudos!*

Omg this was so fun! XD

I'm so glad I found this! This was amazing! I love reading people freaking out over Peter's cool spidery traits and Peter trolling people about what he can and cannot do XD

You’re spoiling me with how often you post stuff. If you ever start posting less I might get withdrawal symptoms.

...now I'm just picturing Tony meeting Bruce and it is. An Image.

PLEASE I LOVE THIS aww Bruce cares!!! I love Peter having more spider-like behaviors and instincts!! And how you write them is so good!!

LOLOL omw that last part was awesome 😆

Spiders-man my beloved

The end bit had me rolling. SPIDERS MAN MY BELOVED

pls i’m sobbing it’s so funny thank you for powering through your arachnophobia to give us this masterpiece

Couldn’t stop laughing, extra kudos :)

This. is. HYSTERICAL!!! I'm dying laughing ~~~ I love this fic so much!I've read the fic this was inspired by, and I'm so glad to see I'm not the only one whose brain is filled with hilarious spin-offs. You've done a brilliant job!Fantastic writing! I hope you write more :D

The last part made me laugh so hard Omg JAJAJAJAJ loved itLove dark Matter and your onshots bases on them are amazing, make it easier with the cliffhanger JAJSJS

This was so much fun to read!! Thank you thank you for playing in the dark matter universe! Loved it!!

The last bit made my arachnophobia go from 🙂 to all of this 😶🙁😕☹️😣😖😫😭. While funny it was absolutely terrifying too. Extra kudos! ❤❤❤❤

holy shit this was hilarious. you took EVERY opportunity to do a spidery thing and you DID IT!!! oh my gosh this was amazing. my cheeks hurt from smiling so hard. and then he TURNED INTO A BUNCH OF SPIDERS. OMG. i need to send this to my batman friends so they can admire the HILARITY of this fic. thank you for writing

That was a beautiful ending.

THE CRACK!!! THE CRACK IT GIVES ME SEROTONIN

Oh my god YOU PUT SPIDERS-MAN IN THIS I- I CAN'T EVEN-

This is absolutely hysterical and I adore it

Okay but this entire fic has me straight up losing my shit- all my favorites in a single fan fiction and Peter being a chaotic spidery gremlin? Heck yes! We stannn

Lmaoooo this is absolutely iconic. I love how spidery Peter is, and the way he interacts with the bats. This is just phenomenal and I love it so much!!!

I’m howling, Peter fighting for territory with a tiny little spider is one of the funniest things I’ve ever read

HAVE I WATCHED MORE THAN FIVE MINUTES OF ANY DC PROPERTY? NO. WILL THAT STOP ME FROM BINGING THIS SERIES AND DARK MATTER? HA . bro what hte sHIT . .. THIS IS SO GOOD . ..

I can’t stop laughing at the last part.

So good

IM CRYING PLS THIS IS SO FUCKING FUNNY 😆 I looooove way you write Peter infinite kudos bro ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

That little bonus scene had me WHEEZING

This is absolutely amazing. I love this so much

this fic is so badass i shit you not

this story is so fucking funny. the bonus scene is pure gold, and I really love all the other spidery mannerisms you added! ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

Lmao what the fuck. This is so funny. I just kept smiling after every reveal. Thanks for creating and sharing this.

oh god i almost forgot about that universei hate the fact that canonically, out there in the marvel universe, there is a version of peter that is just one sentient consciousness made up of hundreds of spiders, and he somehow doesn’t know about it??? he thinks he’s a human

Fun story! I too enjoy the one you based this on, but I'm glad you unmasked Peter, as that satisfied an itch. Also loved how Bruce so desperately wants to adopt Peter and Peter is totally oblivious. That's hilarious (and also a bit sad). Thanks for creating this and sharing it!

You don’t understand how much I loved this fic——-cause it’s a lot

Hello I genuinely love this so much it’s absolutely wonderful

Dude, this was literally the BEST!!!

This is so funny I had a ball reading this 😂 and was Bruce getting jealous of Tony mayhaps ?

I am starting in the BEGINNING where I was HOOKED like a blank-eyed fish on a tasty, tasty line, hold on to your spider suits because I possess many words, as well as two dictionaries and a thesaurus, and I still cannot describe the unbeatable GLEE I suffer from while experiencing this series.And I do mean experiencing, because you don't just read this, you EXPERIENCE it.I am beginning with my favorite dialogue.“The only spider-like abilities you have is to stick to things and shoot webs—and the webs are artificial. You might as well have been Sticky-Man.” Starting off strong, with a nice, solid chuckle. A good lil "hahaha" moment. Can you imagine the in-universe memes? "Watch out, here comes ~sticky man~ *snort cackle*" Like. “Was one of your parents a spider?” Oh. Oh B. How can you be so smart and so dumb at the same time I. How would that work, B? Biologically, is that even possible? Also, that's such a leading question, as such a great detective you should know better than to ask leading questions like that if you don't want to lead the --suspect, victim-- to a possibly false conclusion. Bruce hunny."He snorts to himself. If the bat can’t handle his crawling, then wait until he finds out about some of his more… unsavoury habits." technically not dialogue but. I hope Peter knows I would kill for him. I sincerely hope he's aware of that. He just. I love him your honor. “Um, d’you know that some species of spiders purr?” !!!!!!!! Just!!!!! A lil spiderman following around the bats, purring and chirping away! It is such a good image I can't explain oh my god! “Spider-Man,” Batman snaps. “You’re not actually a spider." Found Dead In Miami I-- this. This is the line that I could not recover from. This point onwards I was nothing but pure Sero Tonin.//And don't get me started on the entire bit about spiderman napping in a web and then getting exited because he caught something but it was just Batman throwing things at him// Like. The sheer chaos you capture in that moment is incredible- and the fact that it's not just "Oh haha joke" but keeping an actual personality on the characters! Like that's obviously Peter and Batman! Albeit, your take on the two of them, which I adore. But! Like! I know these characters, I adore them and recognize them and hear their voices! I can see their reactions and it's //hilarious// I am loving every second of it. I want that entire bit framed on my wall.“Ate,” Peter corrects. “I’m reformed now. I, uh, accidentally ate a friend, and there’s really no going back from that.” I was wheezing, even on the reread. I was looking forward to this line, ready for it, and it still had me cackling like a madman. If I were in Gotham, my neighbors would've thought there was an Arkham breakout and brought out the gas masks. Jason Todd would've hunted me down based on cackle alone with the intent to kill me. It would've been an awkward situation all around.ALso, the bit after it, with Bad Guy in a web? *chefs kiss* like. If I were a criminal and I woke up in a giant spider web? It doesn't matter how fond I am of spiders, you bet your golden lillies I would be crying for my mama.“Anyone could eat people,” Peter points out. “I would just do it in an especially weird way. I tend not to let my really wild instincts get a hold of me. I do like smoothies, though,” he adds wistfully. “I like to wrap them up in my webs and then slurp. It’s just as good as the real thing.” Okay so this line is a ROLLERCOASTER. I want to comment first on the initial "anyone could eat people" part because. He's right? And I don't think the bats like that very much? BUT THEN we end up in "I tend not to let my really wild instincts get a hold of me" territory and that's can of worms NUMBER TWO because that implies that sometimes, SOMETIMES, spiderman looks at a particular human and thinks "free slurpee" and then has to pause, rewind, and try his thoughts again. Can you imagine the first time he looked at a person and thought "Well ain't that a feast to get me through the week" and then had to have that particular freak out? Did he walk around with a rolled up newspaper and hit himself every time he thought that? AND THEN he follows up that terrifying revelation that he likes smoothies and that they're "just as good as the real thing" which implies he has once eaten a human to compare it to? (even though I know he's actually linking it to a bug, and not a human, but it's tacked onto the human part so it implies human and he doesn't even realize that and-) anyways he just accidentally terrified them into keeping him stockpiled on smoothies so that he doesn't look at them and think "free slurpee" and I love that for him.“You’re human,” Batman says. His voice has less of that signature growl than Peter’s ever heard it before. “Eight eyes and all.”You have an amazing skill for injecting emotion into a light-hearted piece. For all that this piece is light-hearted and humorous, it's not 'crack' category. The characters are genuin

I am LOSING IT over the bonus scene 😂😂😂😂

I literally fucking LOVE this

This was hilarious 🕷👄🕷

FHHDJDHFJFHFH not Bruce being jealous that Peter already has a father figure!!! 😭😭😭 also that last part... there are tears of hilarity in my eyes

I just wake up my sister for laughting out loud with the last scene, lots of kudos for you :) <3 <3

This is the absolute best thing I have ever read. I dont think I could have laughed harder if I tried

this is beautiful!!!! i love it so much!!!!!in case you didn't know, there is a version of spiderman that is just a bunch of spiders gathered into a humanoid shape. seriously. it's unclear if it's actually peter parker or not.

OH MY GOD THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER

That was hilarious. I was literally dying of laughter during this. Haven’t laughed so hard in ages. Thank you